Several weeks ago I finished a book given to me by a dear friend. It is entitled, Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul. While I have found some of the Eldredges' writing to be extreme and would differ from some of their theological perspectives, I found that this book was filled with many useful insights and was truly encouraging.
The story of Hosea has been brought to my attention through all sorts of means these days. My cousin, Joli, recommended a novel to me which is loosely based on the story of his marriage to an adulterous woman (different characters, different setting). Stephen and I are planning to read it together as soon as it arrives! I have also replayed in my mind the lyrics from Michael Card's song, a hauntingly beautiful tribute to Hosea's dedication and Christ's relentless love for His rebellious children. Stephen played that for me while we were dating, so it hold special significance.
When I was reading through Captivating, I found myself returning to the author's comments on Hosea. These insights stand in stark contrast with my tendency to "perform" for God's favor, to feel as though I'm just going through the motions in hopes that some of my efforts will draw His attention and endear Him to me.
"Reading George MacDonald several years ago, I came across an astounding thought. You've probably heard that there is in every human heart a place that God alone can fill. (Lord knows we've tried to fill it with everything else, to our utter dismay.) But what the old poet was saying was that there is also in God's heart a place that you alone can fill. "It follows that there is also a chamber in God himself, into which none can enter but the one, the individual." You. You are meant to fill a place in the the heart of God no one and nothing else can fill. Whoa. He longs for you.
You are that one that overwhelms his heart with just "one glance of your eyes." (Song 4:9b). You are the one he sings over with delight...He wants your deep heart, that center place within that is the truest you. He is not interested in intimacy with the woman you think you are supposed to be. He wants intimacy with the real you. Here's how the flow goes in Hosea. First, God says that he will thwart our efforts to find life apart from him...
Therefore I will block her path with thornbushes; I will wall her in so that she cannot find her way. She will chase after her lovers but not catch them; she will look for them but not find them. (Hos. 2:6-7)
He does this...in order to wear us out, get us to turn back to him in thirsty longing. Then he begins to woo us. He often takes us aside from every source of comfort so that he calone can have our heart's attention.
Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. (Hos. 2:14)
Later Eldrige writes, "In the spacious love of God, our souls can lie down and rest. This love from him is not something we must struggle for, earn or fear to lose. It is bestowed. He has bestowed it upon us. He has chosen us. And nothing can separate us from his love. Not even we, ourselves..."
I wonder if some of the "desert experiences" in my life - the times of loneliness, exhaustion, and depression are God's invitation to me. An opportunity to join Him in the solitude of my soul and to be wooed by Him, to experience His unique and unconditional love for me.
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