"Taking the Next Step"

Remembering my Identity and Calling as a Christian Woman

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I was snooping around my sister’s kitchen a while ago, and I stumbled across a very unusual quote above her kitchen sink. Now my sister, Krista, will be the first one to admit that cooking and dishes and kitchen stuff in general are NOT her thing. Expecting something light and witty about the uselessness of doing dishes, I began to read the quote. Here is what it said:

“It takes Almighty grace to take the next step when there is no vision and no spectator - the next step in devotion, the next step in your study, in your reading, in your kitchen; the next step in your duty when there is no vision from God, no ethusiasm, and no spectator. It takes far more of the grace of God, far more conscious drawing upon God to take that step, than it does to preach the Gospel.” (Oswald Chambers)

If I were to identify the most significant lesson that God has been teaching me in my early years as wife and mother it would be summed up in the message of this quote.

What God requires of me is to simply take the next step in faithful obedience to Him.

I would like to use these two cups to illustrate a point. Now if you were to guess which of these teacups is more valuable to me, you’d probably guess this pretty one here. It looks like an heirloom teacup; it’s dainty and attractive. Now this HEFTY mug here is far from attractive. It has been dropped on the floor a few times. It’s chipped. The paint is coming off. It takes up way too much room in my cupboard...

But...it might surprise you to know that this Minnie Mug is my favorite mug in the world and one I couldn’t stand to part with!! Stephen and I were given a set of Mickey and Minnie Mouse mugs the night before our wedding from some close friends who had just come back from Disney World. We drank our first cups of coffee as newlyweds from these mugs. This mug has been ready and brimming with coffee each morning after a sleepless night with my children. In fact, I couldn’t resist figuring out JUST HOW MANY cups of coffee this Minnie Mug has held in over 7 years of marriage. And the grand total was over 8,212 cups!!! Now, appearance aside, if we were to measure the value and usefulness of a mug, I would have to say that this Minnie Mug wins over the teacup hands down.

When I met Stephen as a younger believer, I would have fit the profile of this other teacup here (or, for the sake of our analogy) an impressive young woman by the world’s standards. By the age of 19, I had earned a college degree in culinary arts with straight A’s, completed a certificate in Biblical studies, and traveled to 5 countries. I was stylish and thin, successful in my job, had lots of friends... More than anything, I was a skilled people-pleaser - fueled by the approval and acceptance of everyone around me. As long as my efforts were being noticed and applauded and I looked good to people, I was content...

Well, 3 months into our newlywed life, Stephen and I learned that our daughter Siobhan was on the way, and thus began an intense process of spiritual growth. God very deliberately stripped away my old identity and sense of security and began to reshape me into the woman He intended me to be.

At first I hated the idea of throwing away my career and exciting goals to be a stay-home wife and mother, and the adjustment of being home full time with a colicky newborn was made worse by a case of post partum depression. For the first time, I felt like I was no longer “in control” of my life, and all that used to make me feel important had fallen by the wayside.

The most discouraging and lonely years of my life began just after Ethan was born. Stephen worked a couple of jobs while completing his engineering degree. We had very little time together and barely enough money to make ends meet. I like to refer to those as the “cloth diaper years.” I was stuck in a bad apartment with two babies and no car. Everything in me cried out, “WHY?! Why, God, did you take away everything that made me feel useful and important and put me in this awful, lonely life?”

The lesson God was (AND IS STILL!!) teaching me is that taking the next step in faithfulness where God has placed me will result in contentment and blessing.

Our culture put so much value on external success and achievement.
The world says that we as women should be beautiful, that we should be fulfilled in challenging careers outside of the home, that we should be self-sufficient and independent. The world scoffs at the “servant role” and the “helper model” that God has called us to and will try to cheapen the value of what we do as faithful, Christian women.

We are barraged by these harmful messages and destructive ideas which stand in stark contrast to the description of biblical womanhood that God has laid out in His word.

Susan Hunt in her book, The Legacy of Biblical Womanhood explains this when she writes...Sin marred woman’s design, and now she thinks about her womanhood in terms of her own self-fulfillment. She seeks her own completeness. She is her own reference point. She is her own authority. She abandons her design and mission for a never-ending quest for her own happiness. Woman became a life-taker rather than a life-giver.”

Now that we’ve seen what we should NOT be, let’s look at some Scripture passages that model what we should be as faithful Christian who are always seeking to “TAKE THE NEXT STEP” in obedience to God... I would like to order these passages under two of the main roles that we have as women. The first is that of SERVANT. The second is that of HELPER.


The most powerful model of godly servanthood is Christ’s life. So much of His work and ministry was thankless. So much of it was menial in nature. I think of the powerful image of Christ washing the disciples’ feet.

John 13:3-5 says, “Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and was going to God, rose from supper and laid aside His garment, took a towel and girded Himself After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples feet and wipe them with the towel with which he was girded..”

Christ’s identity as the powerful Son of God was not compromised by this humble act of service. Rather, he voluntarily set aside his glory and willingly served the disciples. He said that it was His food and drink to do the will of the Father who had sent Him, and He did it for the joy that was set before Him. Likewise, if our identity is secure in Christ and our perspective is ETERNAL, we will be able to serve those whom God brings into our lives with joy and purpose.


Christ teaches in Matthew 20:26-28: “...whoever desires to be great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave- just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”

Paul writes in Philippians 2:5-6, “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men.”

So much of what we do as Christian women, wives and mothers is service-oriented. Our labors might go unnoticed and unappreciated, but we should take comfort in the fact that we are following the pattern set forth by Christ and that He acknowledges and rewards what we do. And, in a very mysterious way, our acts of service are actually being done directly TO HIM!

Listen to Matthew 25:34 and following... “Then the King will say to those on His right hand, “Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me. Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You a drink?’ When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ And the king will answer and say to them, “Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.”

The second role we are called to as Christian women is that of HELPER.

Susan Hunt writes, “helper is not a fragile word, and we are not called to a mission of fluff. This is a life-giving ministry of nurture, defense, comfort and caring.” She continues, But the helper design is alien and offensive to a fallen world. It doesn’t fit; so the world tells women that there is a better way...[The enemy] still tries to convince women to try the way of independence and autonomy.”

In Genesis 2:18, this idea of the “helper role” is taught by God Himself. “The Lord said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for Him.” The Hebrew word that is translated HELPER in Genesis 2:18 is the same word that is used to refer to God as our helper. Susan Hunt points out that “when we consider how God is our helper, we begin to see the richness and strength of this word. Moses spoke of God as his helper who saved him from the sword of Pharaoh. In Psalms we read that God is the helper of the victim, the fatherless, the needy, and the afflicted. God is referred to as a helper who is our support, strength and shield.”

In Psalm 144, we see an unusual prayer of David. He prays, “...that our daughters may be as pillars, sculptured in palace style.” I had always thought that this was just poetic imagery until I learned (and I quote again from Susan Hunt’s book), that this word “pillar” “is used of pillars supporting buildings, the bronze pillars of the [Old Testament] temple, and the pillar of cloud and fire...This kind of pillar is not free-standing or ornamental. It is a functional, supportive pillar. This imagery bursts with application. Here we see the essence of woman’s helper design. It is the sum and substance of femininity. The woman with a quiet and gentle spirit is free from the need to protect and promote herself. She is able to be a pillar of comfort and support in the home and church. She is free to attach herself unselfishly to people, and she is often a connector across generations as she fulfills her life-giving mission.”

I pray that these two Scriptural images of the servant and helper will challenge you as they did me, that you will be reminded of the importance of the woman’s role in our home and church. I would encourage you to continue renewing your minds with the truth about our value as Christian women, and that, even if your labors go unnoticed or unappreciated, you will press on in taking the next step in service to Him and those he has placed in your lives.